Feelings Without Words

October 27, 2014 by Ellen Stimson in Anniversary, Love, Marriage


I love anniversaries. Sort of like the beginning of a new year they give us permission to look around, count up and take stock.

John and I have been together twenty seven years. This year I have been traveling like mad and have managed to grab myself a good sized wintry sick. The deep kind that makes the world feel woozy where you crave your jammies and good hot things to drink. So we snuggled in on this anniversary and just took gentle care of each other.  This anniversary was scruffy but no less sweet for it. We made a fire and read our books and cooked and fed one another just like we always do.

But this sweet day was also about remembering.  I looked at old wedding pictures and conjured up all the joy I felt on our wedding day and even more knowing now what I didn’t know then. I didn’t know that one Christmas morning long after breakfast was finished John and I would be quietly rapt with the new old books we found under the Christmas tree  and only slowly noticed the children gathering around us in front of the fire with their own new stuff and happy conversation. We put our books down that morning and leaned into them. You never know where the great memories will show up. That Christmas morning will always be one. There was the time on a weekend getaway to Vermont where we pulled over to the side of the road and bought apple cider, cheddar and homemade bread and ate it in between necking on the hood of our car. That remains the single best meal of my life and because of it we moved our whole family  to Vermont nine years later. Or the day in New Orleans when I got the hat and fell in love with the guy on the dance floor who happily I had married a whole bunch of years before. There was also the day all three kids had the flu and we met up in the middle of the night after changing sheets and cleaning gross stuff and we sleepily held hands in front of a fire and waited for the next wave together. The sad days live right up next to the happy ones and somehow in retrospect I count myself lucky for most of them too. This anniversary was about love and anticipation and every single thing we have felt through all these years together as husband and wife … feelings without words.

Here’s the deepest truth about our marriage in 2014. We just love each other. Every day … we just love each other





  • Ciao Chow Linda

    “We just love each other. Every day. We just love each other. ” is there anything more important? I don’t think so. Well you’ve gone and made me weep. This was so heartfelt and beautiful. How lucky you are to have found each other. May you have another 50 years of sweet, messy love with each other.

  • Beesknees

    I am crying from these devastating last sentences. It sounds so simple when you say it

  • molls

    Me too. I know it can’t all have been peaches and cream but still here you are. The power lies in the intention. You decided to stay and love each other. So you do. I love this piece Ellen

  • henriettamorgan

    I love thinking over my life and marriage too. There are many feelings without words. We got divorced but that is only part of the story. There wwere many lovely bits. I am sending this to Michael. I wonder if it might have worked out if we had just decided to keep on

  • drew

    Hey Mrs. P—I bet you are a great wife. But I know you when you were twenty one. Who would have known? Back then you may have scorned the idea of a good wife. Goes to show there is a lot of luck in the picking too, huh? You guys are blessed

  • catrina

    This was lovely

  • Lynn Silence

    An impromptu picnic on the roadside in gorgeous Vermont is one thing, but being in love when you’re up to your necks in sick kids is a true test. I have never had any desire to be married, but I know a great marriage when I see it. Hold on to each other, friend. You are blessed.

  • molls

    I came back and read this again. I love this so much

  • Abby

    I broke up with my longterm boyfriend in August. We were planning to get married next year. But it wasn’t like this. I did not feel like we were on the same team most of the time. I want someone who wants “to love each other every day”. That’s what I want. How did you know?

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