March 24, 2010 by Ellen Stimson in Uncategorized

We have been having a run of trouble. There is an old Uncle Remus quote that I love. “You can’t run from trouble…ain’t nowhere that far”
It’s true. Living your life with intention does not protect you from trouble showing up at your door. It should provide a map though for how to navigate it. There is no way to avoid trouble or pain either one but I have always believed that suffering is optional. Sometimes in the middle of the struggle that’s hard to remember.

Yesterday I got to feeling sorry for myself as my Gram used to say. We have a problem without an obvious solution that could affect our family for years to come. Oh we keep taking swipes at it. Nobody is giving up, but there is the truth that the solutions may only be band-aids and that healing and forgiveness are different from mending. They take a long time and people want them in different quantities and often at different times.

I may have to retool my definition of family. We may have to find new ways of being together and new family groupings that are less inclusive but possibly more enjoyable. I an having to reconsider what family means. And the things we have all enjoyed in the past may be different from the things we will enjoy in the future. My notions of togetherness may not work for everyone. My ideas of big gatherings and group travel may actually only be fun in theory now. So will I be forever disappointed or will I learn how to be glad for what we have instead of what we don’t?

And does thinking about all of this help me create a life as oppose to react to one? Or does it instead make the current dilemmas just harder to solve for worrying about what might happen next? I am a big believer in accepting what is and making the best of it. I believe that and then I still go and sulk in the corner over what isn’t or isn’t anymore, or anyway isn’t right now.

We have some trouble. Spring is barely here and I am needing the sun. Dreary wind and rain and snow make it harder to be cheerful in the face of difficult problems. Maybe we will take a little band of us off to somewhere sunny and glom onto what we have. Making adjustments…..making adjustments.

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